Friends

Hey, I've made one other question post here before, and got a lot of helpful advice/tips, so I thought I'd ask another question :)
& I looked through the memories and I couldn't quite find what I was looking for, if I missed it, apologies!

To get to the point, my boyfriend isn't that fond of giving oral sex, he had never done it before me, and I was surprised he wanted to do it at all. He said early on in our relationship, that wasn't his thing, that he might do it if the girl asked, but he didn't really want to. Well, one evening he wanted too, and it went really great, for me that is.
I'm a really self-conscious person, and receiving oral can get uncomfortable for me, but the pleasure of it is enough for me to want it to happen.

But it's been about a month since that happened (we've been together 2 1/2 months), and he hasn't indicated it ever happening again. He said he has to be a specific mood for it, and he said these moods are rare.

Now, he gets about two blow jobs a day, for ever day I see him. Now I don't get to see him that often, since he goes to a university two hours away from where I'm at. But in our entire sex life, he receives more oral than we do anything else, at all. Blow jobs over PIV, fingering, very little attention towards me.

Now, he realizes the unequal sex life we have, and he said he was sorry, and he felt bad, and that I don't have to do all of this for him, if I want it a little bit more even.

But, I want it even, but not with me giving less head, because that will reduce our sex life, a TON. But I don't want him to do anything out of obligation. I want him to want to do it, I don't want him to do anything he's uncomfortable with or feeling forced to do.

Sorry, rambling!
I'm trying to change this. I'd like to even this out a little bit, to where I got more, but he'd be doing it more out of obligation than him truly wanting to do it, because if he wants to do something, he usually goes for it. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on ways to get a guy to enjoy giving pleasure a little bit more?
I realize to each their own, etc. But is their any general ideas anyone might have?

BTW. I'm not necessarily unhappy with the sex life I have with him, especially since he recognizes how unequal it is, but I really would like it to change.

Sorry for all of this rambling, I hope I got my point across. And thanks in advance everyone :)

So, yesterday was my partner's birthday, and in honor of that I think I'd like to do something that's completely out of the ordinary for us.

We have an informal but pretty much full-time D/s dynamic. I'm exclusively dominant-- I've never had any interest in subbing and the idea just doesn't get me off. My partner, however, is a switch, but for the course of our roughly year-and-some-change-long relationship, he has been submissive to me. We're poly and will occasionally play with friends, but he hasn't had another regular partner in over a year so he hasn't had much of a chance to express his toppy side. Because of all of this, I'd like to switch with him as a birthday present. We've talked about it a bit, and I know he's intrigued by the idea ("You mean, you'll let me do to you all of the horrible things you've done to me?!"), and his enthusiasm is infectious. Besides, I've never really seen him top before, and I want to know what his style is.

Obviously we'll be doing a lot of talking about the specifics before anything happens, but I'll be honest-- I need some general encouragement. What can I do drop the dom mindset for a few hours? Will adding some sort of role play dynamic make it easier? Part of me feels like being "someone else," like in a role play scene, will help me get away from seeing things the way I normally do. I have a bit of a masochistic streak, but usually when it surfaces, I want to go blow-for-blow-- I like play that's a battle. That's not what we're going for here, and I need to control my urge to not bite back.

I'm excited to try it and fairly certain that it'll be a great time, but in order for this to work, I really have to hand over the reins, something I've never done before. I'm happy to take the challenge, but I'm looking for suggestions for ways to shed my toppy inclinations and our usual dynamic for a few hours.

Switches, do you have any suggestions? Non-switches who have tried something like this before, how did it turn out? If you enjoyed it, what made it fun? What difficulties did you face?

(x-posted to sextips & askthekinksters)

1] Does anyone else think it feels better with a condom? When my boyfriend and I first started, we used condoms, but then once I got on my birth control again he stopped using them, and I don't enjoy it as much. It's still good, but everything feels better with it on. :\

2] A lot of the time when I have sex, I get sharp pains. My boyfriend is bigger than anyone else I've ever been with, so I'm assuming that's why, but it doesn't happen all the time. And when it hurts, it hurts. I kind of don't want to tell him, though, because other than that the sex is absolutely amazing and I don't want to ruin anything... for me or for him.

Any help is much appreciated. :)

What material should you shoot for when buying a dildo if you are sensitive to most anything in and around your vaginal region?

When a man like to wear pantiees and teddys on the bedroom but only wants to share this with a female,how do you about intoducing this

http://www.alovelinksplus.com/advice/the_dating_wizard/emotion-of-sexual-attraction.htm

I am female and I think this is 90% true, at least for me, even if I hate admitting it.

What do you think?

My partner is frustrated because it's not necessarily that he doesn't want to have sex, it's just that he doesn't care if he does or not. And when we do have sex, he says it takes him forever to actually get off, if he even does at all.

He just started taking Zoloft about two and a half weeks ago.

For those of you with partners who are on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety pills, and have fallen victim to the whole, 'lack of sex drive' thing, how do you cope? Clearly there's masturbation, but it's not the same. How do you make sure that when you do end up having sexy time, it's especially meaningful (considering you're probably not going to get it again for a week or so)? How do you make sure as to not pester them with the huge difference in sex drives? Also, how does your partner feel/what are they going through? I don't know if that's too personal or not, if it is, disregaurd the last question.

Thanks everyone!

I check the memories and in the "lack of interest" it talks about people who had sex then stopped...

However, Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year (11 months) and we have NEVER had sex. Neither of us are virgins. I'm 18 and he is 20. I have a very high sex drive but he just does not want to have sex but fails to give me a good reason. Ive asked him a lot of times and hes changed his reason about 3 times so i dont know what to believe. He does not have a problem getting it up or finishing because we constantly have foreplay but it never goes beyond that. One time, i wanted to spice up our foreplay (i might as well, right?) and i got him in a position where he thought I was asking him to put it in and he IMMEDIATELY went soft...He said it was because he didnt want to so it made him nervous and he lost his erection. I know hes sexually attracted to me because sometimes i cant keep his hands off of me. But honestly, im very bored at only getting boring foreplay and I have actually got to the point where ive lost sexual interest in him...

I just dont understand why he does not want to have sex. What gives?

I looked in the memories and found alot about painful sex, but nothing about my problem.

I lost my virginity two and a half years ago, and since then have had sex with 7 guys. I love hooking up with guys: I love kissing, hand jobs, blow jobs, etc, and I love the cuddling that happens after, but I really just have not been able to make myself enjoy sex. I always want to have sex, but then once we actually go at it, I just can't wait for it to be over. A few nights ago I was with my current hookup buddy, and we started having sex, but after a few minutes, I just had to stop. I felt really bad for stopping in the middle, especially since he was so concerned that he did something wrong.

Any advice to start liking sex more?

alright, my boyfriend and i have GREAT sex!! we really do, but latley he has "forgotten" about paying attention to me. i always give him head, and pay attention to his needs, wants and desires, but its like im servicing him and getting nothing in return. it never used to be this programed. its like the same things every night. do i just deal with it? or how do i get him to pay more attention to me with out being rude or "demanding? "

In the middle of eating dinner tonight, I realised I was eating because I was horny and couldn't have sex. Ahahaha. Then I thought about it some more, and realised that I've been oversleeping, eating more than usual, moping, and generally feeling yucky because I'm sexually frustrated. I haven't had sex in three months (it was the best. sex. EVER.) and I can usually deal with the frustration if I don't have sex for a while (there were two seperate years where I didn't have any kind of sexual intimacy with anyone - not even a kiss) but lately I've wanted to tear my bed sheets to smithereens.

How long can you go without sex for before you feel like shriveling up and dying?

What are your coping methods (aside from wanking) when you're single/away from your SO/you don't know how long it will be before you have sex again?

Hi, so my boyfriend and I are running out of ideas for sexual play.

We've tried:
-anal
-rape fantasy
-him controlling me [slapping, spanking, dirty talk, etc]
-me being a stripper
-etc

We're really looking for a really new kink to try out. I think we're eventually going to try a threesome, and public sex. But we won't be trying anything in his back door. I looked in the mammaries [heh] but I didn't really see anything helpful.

Any ideas?

So I would think that most of you agree with the fact that a.m. sexy time ROCKS.
Lately though(past few months), thats ALL the bf wants to do. If I get sex at all, its always right when i'm waking up, which is usually reaaally early. I've had sex at night/afternoon mabye once or twice in the past month and i'm not happy about it! We used to do it every single night. I love morning sex dont get me wrong, but its usually really passive and each of us have 1 goal: getting ourselves off. No foreplay, no kissing, just straight up p in vagEEE! I miss getting frisky at night. I'm almost ALWAYS horny right before going to sleep. I mean were both half naked snuggled up to eachother how can i not??? I miss all the drawn-out foreplay and sex toys and just getting more INTO it, yknow?

So i'm just wondering, how can i get him to be in the mood at night again?
I come onto him and hint that I want it, but he either doesnt get it or is ignoring me. I would just like some advice to spice up the nightime again. Has this happened to anyone else?

and i know i know, i should TALK to him about it. I just feel like talking about it makes the actual sex afterward really awkward...

thxx

hey sextips, i'm in need of some advice.

basically, i am a female virgin in my early 20s and i am ready for sex. i haven't done it yet because i haven't had any real boyfriends and i didn't want to lose it so just anyone. while i don't have a bf at the moment, i've been meeting a lot of great guys and could potentially turn into something serious. which brings me to my question:

how can a virgin prepare for sex?

1. someone recommended i get on birth control. i think this is a good idea because i don't want to have kids any time soon and i don't want to be anxious about the condom breaking during sex.

2. someone else suggested that i "practice" with a vibrator. i also like this idea, although i have to admit that im very nervous about this because i've never had anything inside of me larger thank a couple of fingers or a tampon. sooo, if i were to buy a vibrator what kind? size? etc should i get? also where can I buy one online that ships in a discrete plain box?

i would love to hear any other thoughts or suggestions you might have too. i'm sure I will have a lot more questions also, so hopefully this community can help me with those as well :)

I'm in a fairly long-distance relationship whilst I'm in uni.
However, I'll be going home for Christmas soon. Out of curiosity..

1. What is something sexually fun you've newly discovered with your partner?

2. What is your fail-safe, always exciting act/position/game/tip?

Just curious, so I can have some new suggestions to possibly try out with boy.
Thanks!

I checked the memories and didn't find anything about skin. My s/o and I had really great sex last night, but I didn't quite finish. After the fact, we noticed that my skin was noticeably softer and smoother than it was before, and it lasted for several hours. I doubt there's anything wrong, but has anyone experienced this before, or know why it happens? I'm really curious, mostly because I wish it'd stick around, lol.

Thanks in advance!